Women Drivers

At the risk of sounding like a late 1970’s chauvinistic, misogynistic male comedian, I am going to delve into the world of the female driver.

I am well aware that stereotypes come from somewhere. Rarely do we see glaring generalizations just pop out of nowhere. The “bad female driver” is no exception to this rule.

I’m not claiming to be an expert, but I do drive about 2 hours per day at a minimum. I’ve driven half-way across Canada and wound my way through the streets of this country’s largest cities with little to no problems. I’ve driven myself to New York City and managed to make it out alive. I’ve taken no special courses, nor have I even read up on the subject, but somehow I manage not to be a complete and utter fucking moron while driving my car.

Not the case, unfortunately, for SO very many women out there. Here’s a list of a few pointers to the idiots I see on a daily basis during my commute and beyond.

1. If you are driving a Honda Fit, Toyota Echo, or any other manner of small, compact, hatch-back or economy car, you should not need 50 feet to back out of god damned parking spot. Yesterday a bimbo (on a cell phone) came so close to hitting my car while backing out of a Bulk Barn (best store ever!) parking spot, that I had to throw my own car into reverse to avoid her. She was backing out of one row of parking against the sidewalk, and I was AT LEAST 20 feet behind her, pulling into another row of parking. Really? Do you need the ENTIRE LOT to maneuver your HAMSTER BALL of a car?

2. If I see you putting on make-up, plucking your eyebrows or looking in your rear-view mirror to do your hair while driving 100+km on the highway, I will run you off the road. My Hyundai may not look tough, but she’ll kick your vain ass into the ditch.

3. When passing people, it is customary to continue to drive faster than they are going. How many times does some moron cut in front of me, only to brake and slow down to below the speed limit. I hate you. Get off the road.

Winner!

Before the feminists assault me (I’m one too, I swear) the men do not get out of this scott-free. I drive into rural Nova Scotia from the city EVERY DAMN DAY and there are more than a few farmers, old geezers and fat wankers that drive like shit too. If you, gentlemen, are driving a truck from 1983 that does not go over 80 clicks and hour, get the hell off the highway. If you are out cruising with your top down, getting some sunshine on the baldspot of your mid-life-crisis-comb-over, do the speed limit, stop checking me out when I pass you and go back to your wife. You’re ugly. No one wants you. You are lucky to have her.

GRR!

The unfortunate thing is, men won’t get pegged the same way that women will with the “bad driver” stereotype. So do me a favour ladies, if you can’t stop making all of us look like douchebags, stay off the damn road!

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~ by Andrea on April 7, 2010.

13 Responses to “Women Drivers”

  1. As a good female driver, I’m feeling slightly resentful right now. I prefer to focus my road rage on minivan drivers, Lord help them…

  2. Good point. Minivans scare me. And, like I said, it’s those few “bad” women drivers giving us all a bad name…probably half of them are soccer moms driving minivans…

  3. We’re not all bad, but I agree it’s the minority that seem to manage to ‘represent’!
    How do you feel about boy-racers?
    I say let’s all get off the roads and get on trains!

  4. Oh god, don’t get me started. I think that anyone caught racing should be sentenced to drive a scooter for the rest of their days!! My real pet peeve is bad driving in general–it’s just so crappy that women get the bulk of the “bad driving” rap!

  5. I. Am. Dying.

    I HATE bad drivers!!! Esp the eyebrow pluckers. I quite often give them the finger when I drive past them.

  6. […] Everything accounted for. I am, however, now stuck with no money until 10am. All the Visas and my bank card are canceled. Here I sit, waiting to go to work, writing a blog about how big a twit I am for driving through a car wash with a wallet on my roof. Smart cookie. Maybe it’s fate and I’m becoming a bad woman driver. […]

  7. Evidently, some people take themsevles a tad seriously. This was a riot with several scary grains of truth. I thank you for posting. And my husband, who has not read this but generally assume any idiot on the road is of the female persuasion, will undoutedly agree with me when I read it to him this evening…right after he pops the top on that cold beer 🙂

    • Thanks for your comment! Like I said before, it’s not like there AREN’t bad male drivers…I run into them ALL THE TIME! It’s just the don’t get pegged with that “must a be a woman” stereotype! Glad you enjoyed.

  8. This is by far my Fav Blog you wrote. You need to include asian drivers as well thow.

  9. Well these points are all debatable, however I would recommend checking out this link http://www.dashers.com/_articles/cheap-car-insurance-for-young-women-drivers.html its an article on female drivers…hope it helps!

  10. They still say that women drivers are better than men anyways… Insurance can even be cheaper for them… Though i dont think its specific to one gender.. I just think some people are just terrible at driving

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