Good-bye Old Friend and Sometimes Enemy

Dear Digital Cable Box,

There’s no two ways about it. I’m saying good-bye. We’ve had a tumultuous relationship since day one, but I don’t think it’s working anymore.

If I may be so blunt, cable, you are a gold digging whore. Your pimp’s name is Eastlink and you’ve gouged my chequing account monthly for the past three years. You’re needy. You call when I don’t pay you and leave threatening messages on my voicemail. Sometimes I think you have serious issues. You’re so hot and cold, I never know where I stand. Ninety percent of the time you don’t interest me at all. The other ten percent is ok, but it’s nothing I can’t get from your sister, High Speed Internet.

So, this week, when I’m feeling fanciful and risqué, I will march you back from whence you came and I shall not look back. My alone time dinners might be a bit lonelier. My alone time weekends, a bit emptier. But I’ve decided.

It’s time to turn off the TV, go outside (or to my computer) and do something with my life.

Good-bye Cable, your on-demand services will be missed somewhat, but your lackluster customer service, shitty channel selection and over-priced shenanigans will not.

Good Day.

Good-bye, cruel cable company.

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~ by Andrea on April 21, 2010.

8 Responses to “Good-bye Old Friend and Sometimes Enemy”

  1. […] my way home, I was thinking about taking back the digital cable box and smiling and singing along with the tunes on the radio. I stopped to get gas, and hell, why not […]

  2. […] my way home, I was thinking about taking back the digital cable box and smiling and singing along with the tunes on the radio. I stopped to get gas, and hell, why not […]

  3. nice banksy

  4. I did this not too long ago. Congrats on the move.

    My cable actually kept working after they took the box. I was pretty happy – but don’t tell Comcast!

  5. I am going to see if maybe I’ll still get basic cable if I just plug it right into my tv. I’m doubtful though, since I had the uber-fancy digital (re: more expensive, but the same) cable.

  6. You might – that’s what worked for me. With Comcast, I think they needed to change some kind of switch. Needless to say, they didn’t change mine – hello Office at 7!

    Oh, and I stole your car crash idea. Sorry: http://transmorgified.wordpress.com/

  7. I don’t have cable either. Just Netflix. Don’t worry; You’ll be ok. =)

  8. […] TV Review I don’t watch much TV, especially since I sucked it up and took back my over-priced digital cable box. That thing was sucking almost $100 a month out of my pocket for about two hours a week of […]

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