Saturday Morning TV Review

I don’t watch much TV, especially since I sucked it up and took back my over-priced digital cable box. That thing was sucking almost $100 a month out of my pocket for about two hours a week of television watching. I don’t know about where you’re from, but here in Nova Scotia the cable situation is lackluster at best. All I really want is to be able to pay for the things I want, even if it means paying by the show. But no. Uh-uh. Big fat NOPE on that one.

Instead we pay for seventy channels of garbage, then an extra monthly fee for five more channels we also don’t want, but need, in order to get the one service, On Demand, which we do want.

Great system.

Now that I’m TV-less, I’ve turned to illegal other means to watch the very few shows that I consider good. This list isn’t exhaustive by any means, as I am not including series which are over-that’s another list for another day. But here you are, in no particular order, some TV you actually should be watching:

Pill snorting awesomness.

Nurse Jackie: I love this show because the main character, Jackie (Edie Falco) should be a character who you hate. She’s a lying, cheating, pill-popping nurse who you can’t help but absolutely love. Even if you don’t like medical dramas, this show has more story-line than IV-line. Much of it is taking place in a hospital, but it’s more about the characters’ lives than solving medical dilemmas. Favourite scene: Jackie flushing an abusive john’s ear down the toilet after it was sliced off by an angry, cut-up prostitute. Later in the episode you get a gem of a line in, “Puke AWAY from the ear. Away from the ear.” Classic.

Kicking bad guys' and lymphoma's asses all over the place.

Dexter: I loved Michael C. Hall in Six Feet Under, and my god I love him as Dexter. Although the first season was a little slow in places, it is SO worth it to watch the following seasons. Dexter is your all around nice guy, blood-splatter analyst with the Miami P.D. and, of course, excellent father figure. I’m not so much pro-serial killer, but in Dexter case, he’s really taking out the trash that have fallen through the justice system’s cracks. He’s like a deranged everyman and father of three. Again, he takes a very dislikable character and turns him into a work-class-serial-killing-hero. Favourite quote: Vince Masuka is one of Dex’s co-workers. He’s a funny looking, sex-crazed little Asian dude, “Your victim was smothered. That’s not opinion, that’s science. And science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14 inch strap-on.” I have to totally agree with that Science quote. Screw you science!! Especially YOU grade 10 science….screw you with a 14 inch strap-on.

True Blood

Dinner and drink.

True Blood: Before I get crap for falling prey to the Vampire trend of the past couple of years, this show is different, in so many, many ways. Based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlene Harris. In reality, these are vampire romance novels, with obviously more twisted plots than those Harlequin romances featuring Fabio on the front cover. This is one of few instances in which I actually like the show better than the original books. If you don’t like weird, you probably won’t like True Blood. If you do like weird, sexy, bloody, telepathic and twisted, give it a try. Weird scene award: One of the characters in the series lays a demon-egg that the whole town is hypnotized into worshiping, while having giant orgies, booze binges and killing/cannibalism parties. Seriously. This ain’t no Twilight.

Buck, Alice, Tara and T.

The United States of Tara: For some reason, I thought this was a Toni Collette sketch comedy for the longest time. I guess when I heard that she plays a bunch of characters who are her different personalities, I naturally assumed. I was, however, delightfully mistaken. The US of Tara is a hilarious and sometimes really sad show about a woman who experienced some sort of major trauma as a child and subsequently developed a range of personalities as a coping mechanism. I haven’t really found one thing about this show that I dislike. The acting is great, the story is great, and John Corbett is my secret old man crush at the moment. Awkward moment with your mom you never want to experience: Tara’s son is possibly gay, and he brings home his boy-crush, only to have his mom, as T. (the teenage alterego of Tara) make out with him in the shed. Fast-forward a few minutes and watch said shed burn, baby, burn.

Alec, Tina and Tracey are NBC heroes.

30 Rock: So far this list has not included any regular cable programs. All of the above are Showtime or HBO. This was not a mistake. One of my biggest beefs with my cable was always that 99% of cable shows are bad. Really, really bad. I’m sure there are a few more out there that don’t suck, but some of them, damnit I just love to hate them. My uncle loves Two and a Half Men. But really, Charlie Sheen as a womanizing, drunk asshole? I don’t see it…ahem. Anyway. My diamond in the trash heap is 30 Rock, and I’m really late to the trash heap on this one. I just got a copy of season one, and holy shit! Where did this come from? Apart from there being no swearing (usually a turn off for me…I did marry a sailor, after all) this show is edgy, funny, sarcastic and it pushes the limits as to what can be done on network TV. If you haven’t watched this because you’re like me and just assumed it was garbage, don’t be ashamed. Pick up a copy and check it out. Favourite taboo-for-TV topic covered so far (and I’m only in season one remember): Two black characters, Tracey (street-cred) and Twofor (Harvard grad), have to go to sensitivity training for using the “n” words (yes words, one ends in “ga” the other in “ger”) directed towards each other. Confusion and hilarity ensue!

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~ by Andrea on May 1, 2010.

8 Responses to “Saturday Morning TV Review”

  1. 30 Rock is a favorite of Mrs. Grumpy-to-be and mine. As your going through, keep an eye out for the scene where Jack tries to role play as Tracy’s father as a way to help him through therapy….essentially he just depicts every awful black stereotype imaginable while the therapist watches on in horror.

  2. I’m very excited to keep watching! And I love that it’s regular tv so there’s like 24097438 episodes per season. Or…21…whatever.

  3. I’m going to use the 14 inch quote at least once a day from now on!

  4. Another trash heap gem you may be missing is ABC’s Modern Family. I can’t come close to doing it justice in such a small space…if you’re a 30 Rock fan I guarantee you’ll love it.

    I’m also totally with you on True Blood…sci fi/fantasy mischief for those of us who like our vampires to follow through on their lustful gazes 🙂

  5. I didn’t realize True Blood was based on a book. Thanks!

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