I’ll Have a Venti and a Side of Incompetence

Warning: Incoming RANT!

I have respect for people who do all manner of jobs. I don’t care if you’re a nuclear physicist, a registered nurse or a 15 year old kid flipping burgers at McDonalds. Any job can be challenging, stressful or meaningful, depending on how you look at it. Everyone can have a bad day. I know. I’ve done jobs that many people don’t respect, mostly because they’ve never done them before. You can be the most brilliant person in the world, and you know what? You’d fucking struggle during a Tim Horton’s morning rush in the drive-thru.

Sadly, though, there are some people for which working with the general public should be banned. There’s a big difference between being having an off day and being a tool everyday.

To the cashier who works mornings at my local Tim Horton’s. I come in everyday, from Monday to Friday. Every other person on your shift knows me. I order a tea. With milk. That’s it. That’s all. I have my money in my hands, a smile on my face and every morning you look at me like I’m brand spanking new. I leave a tip everyday because I know you all split them, but sometimes I’m so tempted to say, “This tip is for the rest of you, just not her,” and point at your stunned face.

It only took me three minutes to pour your tea today!

Actually, although it is a little annoying, I’m not even that upset that you don’t know my order. The problem is you’re incompetent. It’s because you’re slow. You move at the speed of an inanimate object. You’re stunned beyond stunned. All you do is take orders. I’ve seen it when they try to get you making the drinks. I know the days when they foolishly try to have you doing anything requiring movement or speed because the line-up is inevitably out the damned door. I’ve never seen someone take so much care and move with such determination as you when you’re scooping spoonfuls of sugar into coffee cups. God forbid someone orders a triple-triple (three cream, three sugar to my Yankee readers) for it will take you a good, solid 45 seconds to scoop that fucking sugar. Forty-five seconds may sound trivial, but to anyone who knows the service industry, that’s actually how long taking the order, making and serving the stupid drink should take in total.

And for the record, I really don’t give a shit about how people look, but seriously sweety, your foundation-filled-pumpkin-coloured face, complete with whore-rouge and cat-eyes might be appropriate for a night of clubbing, but at 6am, you look like a dummy. The old men and truck drivers might find it attractive if they didn’t know you just as well as I do, as “the slow one”. I’m not making that up. I’ve heard people say it on more than one occasion. I’ve seen your co-workers roll their eyes and tap their feet as they wait for your slow ass to pick up the pace. I’ve heard one or two of them get angry when you mess up order after order after order.

After re-reading this, I’m feeling mean. I sound like a bitch. Maybe I am, but maybe someone needs to say something. I’m sure you have your talents. If everyone is good at something, then I’m a firm believer that the opposite must be true. We’re all bad at something, too. After two years of shitty service, please, PLEASE go find something you’re good at.

It took me a grand total of one month to realize I suck at retail. Footlocker and upselling socks can blow me!

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~ by Andrea on May 25, 2010.

4 Responses to “I’ll Have a Venti and a Side of Incompetence”

  1. You rant well. Why hasn’t she been fired? Pass her the “want ads” next time she’s your server.

    • I don’t know either. Maybe she’s the managers niece or something…I used to work at the same place and she would have been CANNED a year ago if she had worked for my old boss!!

  2. Perhaps her last name is Horton?

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