Zombie domination fail.
Turns out I’m not infected with zombie causing bacteria.

However, I am now filled with antibiotics and I’m not looking forward to the next two weeks to about six months.

It’s not that I’ll be taking pills for that long. The prescription is only for a week, but I have a bit of a wonky stomach, and the last time I was on antibiotics I would have gladly taken back the infection I had. I am hoping this time will be different. This time my infection is not severe. Last time, well, let’s just say that you should definitely not fly if you think you have sinus infection. Yeah. That *pop* I heard inside my head was not my imagination. That was my sinus. Popping.


But that was last time.

These people are obviously not taking Biaxin. Notice the happy and not pooing my pants look on their faces?

Once I got medicine for that last one I also got to experience the amazing feeling of almost shitting my pants on nearly a daily basis for two weeks. That, my friends, is a hoot. Let me tell you. Especially that first day. Yes, I remember that sprint down Yonge Street in Toronto like it was yesterday.

I guess the one benefit to that experience was the rapid weight loss. Want to lose 10 pounds in a hurry? Through your BUTT? Try Biaxin. It’ll cure what ails you and make you crap your pants! BIAXIN.

Somehow I don't think Quebec has the same water park safety legislation as the rest of Canada...

Ah well, at least I only almost crapped my pants. I’ve heard a few great poo stories over the years. Like the gentleman I know who accidently pooed on his foot while camping and then nearly fell in a river. Or a friend who had food poisoning on the flight home from Mexico and had to make two separate poo-removal trips to the tiny airline toilet. Or of course, the time I was on a water park ride with a certain someone and that certain someone basically got bidet-ed whilst traveling at high speeds down Les Rapides. Thank Jesus for mesh-bottom rafts. Oh, and the story that takes the cake is a guy I know who sharted in a stand-up tanning bed. I won’t go into more detail than that, and I’ll warn you not to think too deeply about it.

Ok, well, who knew this was going to turn into a poo-filled blog posting? Have a wonderful poo-free day!!!


~ by Andrea on June 2, 2010.

11 Responses to “Anti-Anti-Biotics”

  1. Have you tried taking probiotics? One of my friends swears by them whenever she takes antibiotics. Maybe it’ll help? Anyway, hope you’re feeling better soon!

  2. Well, I guess you could have my dogs problem. He is so stopped up his hind legs lift off the ground while straining.

  3. Well once you’re out of the woods, I recommend your hippo whip you up some of these pancakes (scroll down to “Cinnamon Pancakes”) Hands down favorite post hangover/flu/minor sinus infection meal of all time.

  4. Hope the yogurt helps. BTW, you have only yourself to blame if someone finds your blog by doing a search on “shart in a stand up tanning booth.”

  5. Don’t forget about the time I shit my pants on a date!!! I wonder why I’m single living alone in the ghetto…

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