Up-selling Your Mom

After working for many, many moons in the food service industry, I understand the pressure to up-sell. I also had the displeasure of being pressured to up-sell in shitty retail establishments like Foot Locker. I know you don’t want a bag of tube socks or the stupid sneaker spray, but I’m obligated to ask you because my boss is watching us. FML.

I am, however, getting sick of it all. I know, I know, it’s just their job. They’re being told to do it by THE MAN…or in this particular case, WOMAN.

At the Tim Horton’s down the street there is only one lady in the drive thru that ever tries to up-sell me. I know her screechy voice and I recognize her stringy hair when I get to the window. Every morning, afternoon or evening that she’s working I get the same, lame attempt to up-sell me on a fucking apple fritter.

“Welcome to Tim Horton’s, can I help you?”

“Sure, I’d like a large steeped tea with milk.”

“Wouldn’t you like to try one of our delicious apple fritters this morning/afternoon/evening?”

“No. No I wouldn’t. Not at all. I don’t want deep-fried dough, covered in high-fructose corn syrup, dashed with some apple-flavoured chemical and more sugar. Thanks.”

Ok, so maybe the last line of that encounter hasn’t happened.


No other people at that drive thru try to up-sell me on anything. No one ever tries pushing chocolate glazed, vanilla dips or cinnamon raisin bagels on me, either. Why is this woman obsessed with trying to sell apple fritters!?! I don’t understand. But what I do understand, and even though I might be the only person taking a stand on such a ridiculous issue, is that I’m not tipping that bitch any more.

Please stop trying to sell me your deep-fried-diarreha-looking-thing.

She can suck an apple fritter before I leave her another nickel.

~ by Andrea on August 31, 2010.

11 Responses to “Up-selling Your Mom”

  1. Thanks alot, now I actually want a doughnut!!! I have made it two weeks without one too!! And you know I don’t just have one, I eat 3-4 at a time

  2. LOL. I still find it weird that you guys tip people at Timmy’s in Nova Scotia.

  3. I don’t have hot beverages that often and usually make them at home.

  4. Too funny!!! We’ve never had anyone try to upsell us at Tim’s!
    ‘Please stop trying to sell me your deep-fried-diarreha-looking-thing.’ LOL!!!

  5. I’m sorry every time you mention this place in one of your posts I think of the following quote from How I Met Your Mother:

    Robin: No! That’s what he collected. Harvey’s trays! Those plastic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey’s. The restaurant!? Oh come on you’re road tripping down the Trans Canada Highway, you get a hunger on between Milnerton and Wawa, where you gonna strap on a feedbag??? Harveys! That’s where! Over 12,000 served!

    • Hahaha! Great quote 🙂 In Canada, Tim’s is our Dunkin’ Donuts. There are nicer, trendier, tastier places everywhere, but there’s just something about Tim’s….maybe it’s the crack they infuse into every drink, I’m not sure…sigh.

  6. There’s totally crack in the coffee. I think some scientists somewhere tested it and it came back positive. At least I think i read that somewhere… *shifty eyes*

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